That First Post…

I’m sure most “bloggers” have an idea of what they want their blog to be about when they first start it. They probably have a clue about what to type, what not to type, and where to post it. They probably are the same people who sit on Pinterest and actually do most of the things they pin.

Then there’s me. Hi. I’m Chelsea. I’m 21 years young, and took up blogging for multiple reasons. One of which is my anger problem. I took a Hiatus from Facebook and Instagram, on my own accord, to see if that would help me and my little anger issue. Two days later, I was fired from my job for reasons that were total bogus. So on top of raising my two year old, and searching for a new job, I decide to take up blogging. My husband thinks it will be a good way for me to share with others. Plus, my Biological Mother always said I should write a book since I have such a way with words. I figure I’ll get the best of both worlds. Start off free, on a public site, where I don’t really care if this makes it anywhere or not, rather than spend money on publishing, and then having to promote a book. That’s a lot, all at once. If I can’t get a blog off the ground in the “tech gen”, I definitely shouldn’t be writing a book.

To be honest, when I started creating this page about a week ago, I had no idea what it was going to be over. I read all over Pinterest what you should write blogs about, where to write blogs, how to tag blogs, what to name you blogs… blah blah blah. None of it hit home. Nothing was like “Holy shit, I need this in my life.” I read one article about a lady who told others to live a “Blog-worthy Life”. I had to laugh. I think if anyone tried hard enough, and worded it right, they had a “Blog-Worthy” life. My next door neighbor, who really doesn’t live next door, just pays a high storage fee, is a bartender. At one of my favorite bars in the world (by the way, my world isn’t very big, we’re talking a California to Ohio and South range…). She probably lives that kind of life, one people would love to read about. I bet my old boss could push her way into a blog worthy life and get people to read it. I figured if these people could, people who aren’t really that much different than me, people who I’ve known in the real world could, then I could. So a little about me, to get everyone started.

I was born in Oklahoma (please, if you’re a true Texan, please don’t judge me. We aren’t all that bad). I’ve lived all over, from New Mexico to a little town known as Bullhead City, AZ. I have like 5 other siblings, who you won’t ever hear much about. We aren’t really that close. (I’ll make a family tree one day, it’ll be a blast.) I have a set of biological parents, my father who is deceased, and my mother who’s off doing her own thing with my youngest sibling. I have adopted parents as well. That’s where my story gets exciting, I’ll save it for my next post. If you ask them, I adopted them, if you ask me, they adopted me, it’s a never ending circle. I graduated from a podunk of a town, with people who I don’t talk to anymore. I’ve been doing this “on my own” thing since I was 17. I got pregnant at 18, baby 19. Moved in with my now husband a little over a year ago, got married a little over a month ago, and now here we are! I know, totally a condensed version, but things really didn’t get “blog-worthy” until about 4 years ago, so I figured I’d save the sappy stuff for a day I’m feeling weird.

I’ll eventually have it to where I’ll post like a dinner once a week and how I made it (crockpot all the way since it’s getting cold), or a project my youngest and I did, or maybe my new favorite coffee I found on sale (I’m a sales freak BTW). With the blogs I follow, I’ve gathered inspiration, along with things I definitely wouldn’t do. To each there own. Just to save confusion, I’ll refer to my children as the Eldest (3), and the Youngest (2). They’re way to young and innocent to be publicized, for now anyway. When they hit 16 & 17, any and every embarrassing photo will be shared for future Girlfriends to see (or boyfriends. Hey, we’re an open-minded household). My Husband will be referred to as The Husband until he makes me mad, then he may be publicized. This is like my ultra comeback. It’s great, it really is!

Thank you for dealing with the monstrosity of a first post on my first ever Blog! They’ll get better, I promise. I just wanted to get my first post out there and see what happened. I’ll be posting at least 3 times a week, for the first few months anyway, until I get some “followers” (I need a new name for that. Suggestions?!)

Peace Babies, catch ya on the Flip-Side

*Jeremiah 29:11*

Awesome Things I Never Heard Until I Became a SAHM

Before I go ANY further, let me apologize for my absence. I was dealing with being behind in school, trying to find a job, getting finances situated, and then a very close friend had a heart attack, and now we’ve come one day shy of my 22nd birthday, and then Thanksgiving. It’s been hectic. In lighter news, I’m now an actual Full Time SAHM! I’m lucky to be able to say that. It was coming down to the wire on whether The Husband and I would be able to swing it, and as of two weeks ago, I started receiving my school checks, so it put us back on track! I now get to spend 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year with The Youngest! Oh wait.

Here’s where that list comes in. Since finally deciding to just stay home and do school (online, by the way), I have gotten some wonderful (and not so wonderful) advice from fellow SAHMs, Working Moms, Childless people, and other randoms who think they have a solid thought. My favorite thing to hear, so far, is “Oh, well that must be nice. You just get to sit on your ass all day and not have to worry about anything. Lucky.” Stahp. Just stahp. No. First of all, no SAHM gets to ” just sit on (her) ass all day”. That’s a lie. And if any of you do, please, teach me your ways. The youngest is WAY too active and into life for me to just be able to sit on said ass and send the child off to play. No way. If I do that, I hear crashing and water spilling ten minutes later because said child is standing on the edge of the bath tub, running the water, and yelling “water, mama water!” while trying to pull their shirt off. Yeah, it’s like that at your house too. Don’t even lie.

Then there’s “How does your husband feel now that he has to provide for you and your kid?” First of all, read. I’m receiving a check every month. I get paid to go to school, basically (Thank my father, may his reckless soul find peace in Heaven or where ever he ended up), so I’m providing just as much as he is. Second, he likes that I’m home all day with The Youngest. The house is way cleaner than it was when we were both working, dinner is done when he gets home (yes, I’m that wife), and I’m able to educate and work with The Youngest rather than pay an obscene amount for them to spend the day with someone else. Heck, I even potty trained the kid (not an easy feat. I don’t care who you are. So much pee. So much…).

I’ll do you one even better… ready? “It must be wonderful not to deal with real life and other people everyday.” Dude, let me just slap you before you say that to a mom who is staying home with more than one child. What she might do to you will be way worse. It’s not wonderful. Now before anyone goes and freaks out because I said being home with my child isn’t awesome, let me explain. Yes, I love that first thing in the morning I get baby love and cuddles, I get to play Legos, I get to see the world from a small person point of view. I get to kiss boo-boos and make them all better, I get to act silly and not be judged, I get to sit in my PJ’s all day because my child doesn’t care what I’m wearing, the point it, I’m there, and they know it. The part that makes it not wonderful, is every, single, living breathing moment, is dedicated to one single individual person. I can’t watch my favorite shows because The Youngest can’t handle intense scenes, they stress out. I don’t have the luxury of just putting on my shoes and going to the store, it’s become a 30 minute process. I have to make sure the kiddo has clothes, shoes, a cup, and anything else they grab on our way out the door. Making breakfast? Sure. Easy. Until said child decides half way through breakfast they don’t like what they’re eating, throw it in the trash, then ask for more. Lunch? Oh, just wait until the kid finishes their food first. I’m learning it’s so much easier than trying to get them fed, and feed myself. Otherwise my food becomes their food, and I’m still left eating way later than them. That’s another thing, I don’t have “my food” anymore. That Reece’s cup I just handed to the cashier? Nope. I say it’s mine, but I’m going to forget in three hours that The Youngest wants everything I have, and then half will become theirs. It’s a vicious circle. The hardest part of being a SAHM, is that I have a child under 5. At 5, at least they might comprehend half of what you’re saying, and you can have short kinda meaningful conversations. Not at The Youngests age. I could talk my head off, and they would just look at me like I was crazy, laugh, and run away. Sometimes they talk to me, about Monkeys and Cars and how Daddy took something. That’s what I get. I crave adult attention. When The Husband gets home, I feel bad for him. All I want to do is talk and cuddle and talk and cuddle, and he’s like whoa, just got home, give me a sec. So no, I do have to deal with real life. My real life. Different from yours, yes, but still real. Very much so.

The last one I will leave you today actually hurt my feelings a little. I was talking with someone about a week ago about having decided to stay home and just go to school and watch The Youngest. They stopped for a minute, then looked at me and shook their head. “Why would you do something stupid like that? Think about it. In two years when you’re done with school, and you turn in a resume, and an employer sees a two year gap in your work history, what are you going to tell them? You wanted to be lazy and stay home? No one will pick your resume first. They’re going to look for someone who was able to balance work, and life. You’ll just look irresponsible and lazy. I hope you change your mind.” Straight to the heart. I wanted to run away and cry. While they might have been right about some employers in the world, I don’t care what they say, when I’m in an interview, and they point out the gap in my Work History, I’ll proudly look at them and say “I was a SAHM and a full time college student for two years. I chose to walk away from the working field and into working at home. I was a cook, a dishwasher, a taxi driver, a nurse, a teacher, a student, a judge. I was a personal shopper, an activity coordinator, on call 24/7. No holidays, and no pay any treasury would recognize on taxes. I understand that there are probably other applicants who worked 40 plus hours a week at a job just to get themselves through school and into your office, but I can guarantee most of them didn’t work for free, just to better the generation that your business is going to be dependent on to succeed in later years.” Boom. Maybe it won’t be so bad-ass as I want it to be, but I want people to understand that being a SAHM IS a full time job. We don’t get vacation time, definitely no health care or a 401k. Just kisses and hugs and hearing “mommie?” at 3 a.m.

It’s a hard, dirty job. Not meant for everyone. So today, I give props to all the SAHM/D of the world. Here’s to doing the job of creating tomorrow. I’m not hating on working parents, I’ve been in your shoes too, and that’s a whole other level of difficult, but today I wanted to touch on what being a SAHM is perceived as. So next time you hear about someone talking about their kids, and your at the bar, don’t turn around and slam them. They were probably me, and even though they finally got out for an evening, their whole day before they got there was all about their kids. Give them some slack. Some one has to do it.

Peace babies.

Jeremiah 29:11

That SAHM Vibe

Hello Lovelies.
My first post on my blog was all over the place, and had no set topic. I thought it would make it easier on myself, allowing me to just post whatever, whenever, and call it what it was. I’ve since found out, I didn’t really help myself at all. I made it even more difficult for someone who was just starting to blog… I told myself I was going to post at least three times a week, and I tried. I really did try, but every time I would sit down and start typing away, I would get lost half way through and didn’t know where to take it. So this evening, while having an argument with the Husband, it hit me. This whole time I had been trying to find out how to live a “blog-worthy” life, what I needed to make my life read-able, and I already was! I can relate to probably a good third of the women who read blogs, and probably some percentage of dads too. I’m a Stay at Home Mom, going to school online, battling the “step-mom” stigma, doing the newly married thing. Even if people can’t relate, when I start talking about my everyday life, I was always being told I should write a book. So why not just turn it into my blog? My life as a Stay at Home Mom. And if I ever were to get a full-time job again, I can still relate to the SAHM roll, since I played it before. I figured if people I knew in real life were always interested in my new story, I could catch the interest of others in the world.
So here we are. I’ve finally made up my indecisive mind, and made my unkempt blog, themed! I started reading more on Pinterest about how to grow your blog, what to tag, pictures to post, when to post, so on and so forth. What interested me most was reading a blog about what to blog about. You read that right. Blogging about blogging. Seems easy enough. Blogs started out as daily diaries, so if I could write in my journal every day, I should be able to type it up and put it online, and mostly everything I do has something to do with being a SAHM, in one way or another, so I’ll always have something to post about. I know my posts don’t always have to follow exactly with my theme, there will always be days when I go off on a tangent and lost the theme completely (it’s bound to happen guys, sorry not sorry), like when the Husbands baby-mama pushes my buttons, my nutty family gets a little too nutty.
I decided on the SAHM theme because I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum. I’ve been the working parent who only sees their kid for an hour or so each night, and I’ve been the SAHM who is jealous of the parent that gets to go to work every day. I know what it’s like to see your child take their first steps, and I’ve seen situations where I watched someone else’s kid take their first steps, and it wasn’t in front of their parents. I chose to go with the SAHM version, because even if I go back to working a 9-5, I’ll always be able to relate. One of my favorite quotes is “Even when she is away, she never really leaves her children”.
This doesn’t mean we’re literally toting our kids around everywhere, at last not physically. They’re with us in our minds and in our hearts. The reason we’re usually doing what we’re doing is because of them. They’re always behind our best intentions. They help us see the world in a new light, a different perspective (aside from the obvious three or four-foot differences we have between their eyesight and ours…). I consider myself blessed to have two littles in my life. Even if they do make me want to pull my hair out from time to time.
Being a SAHM has its tolls, don’t get me wrong. Take your social life for example. When you’re childless, a night out is a relief from normal everyday activities. You get to go out, forget about life, and just be an adult (maybe a reckless, naked, dumb adult, but you get the point). When you have children, this all changes, dramatically. Now, not only is it considered your “adult time”, it’s also when you worry most about your kids. Leaving them at a sitter should just be it right? You drop them off, and that’s it until you pick them back up? Ha. Fat chance. Your chances of getting struck by lightning while having your adult time are way, way, WAY better. Finding a sitter is step one. You have to find someone willing to give up what you’re trying to do, in actuality. You’re asking someone, usually a family member or close friend, to give up their either childless life, or their own chance to get away, just so you can have a few hours of your own. SO. Let’s say you get that one lucky person. They agree to watch your kiddos for a few hours (I’m blessed with the greatest grandparents a kid could ask for, they love having the youngest), or maybe even overnight. Now, you’re physically childless. Physically, you get to be an adult, and have adult conversations, with adult type people, in an adult type location, usually. Unless you’re me. Then you go out with your oldest child, I mean, husband, to a place where other “Oldest Children” meet, and act like young children. (I’m referring to a bar for those of you not catching the drift). While at this place, you might be sipping adult juice, or coke as our kiddos refer to it as, listening and engaging in conversations definitely not PBS appropriate, trying to enjoy your adult time you were graciously given. Maybe. Or, you could be doing all these things, and still happen to drag your kid along (mentally, calm down. My kids been in a bar maybe twice, and each time it was to pick someone up. They sits in the lobby with “papa” and drinks a non-alcoholic Shirley Temple. They think it’s a blast.) In theory, my child has been left at Nana’s house, to play with other kiddos, and do kiddo things. I say in theory because like I mentioned, mentally, they’re there. You’re using the F-bomb like your sixteen and your parents are gone, and every time someone else follows suit, you keep looking around and getting a grimace because if The Youngest heard you, they’d start using it, then you’d have to stop. Or you have to excuse yourself to go “potty”. Even better is the potty training parents. The Husband and I are that couple. We have an alarm set so The Youngest goes every 20 minutes. Well, on nights we drop him off, the alarm is still set, so every 20 minutes, everyone in the bar hears the toilet flush, and a whole bunch of vibrating. Now it’s become a joke and we tell my husband to use the potty so he doesn’t have an accident, but it’s just one more way for our child to “be there”.

The goal of a “childless evening” may have been successful in the outward ways, but inside our minds, the mental child started as soon as we dropped them off. We worry if they’re going to behave, if they’ve had enough to eat, if they’ll have fun, if they’re going to cry, if we’re ever going to have a sitter again… little things, but normal things for us who stay home all the time and would normally be in charge of the answers to these wonders.

Here’s to the SAHP, the Working Parents, The Step-Parents, The Weekend Visit Parents… I may not be able to relate to every single one of you, but I feel for you. That’s my goal with this blog, not to be on every level, but on some wave, catch your eye. There will be days when no one can relate, since we all have different lives, but on those days, consider it another part of the social experiment.

Happy Humpday! Enjoy the wet (if you’re getting any!) and congratulations to Denton for becoming a WET county!

Peace, Babies.

Jeremiah 29:11